Grief in Fellowship and incarnation

I grew up really feeling that the most healthy and best way to get through hard times was the get over it. Who has time to dwell on things that are hard and bad when so many things in life are good! As an adult now I can look at that and feel that and know how unhealthy and isolating that thought process is. This chapter on grieving was such a good and fresh reminder of the importance of grief in walking through life. I always believed that grieving only mattered for the "big" things and couldn't understand why a driver on the same tie as me would have such a hard week when the campers left and I was fine, reading this reminded me that some of use move through change in unique ways for some the change of campers and then end of a week with a group was difficult and needed to be walked through for them. 

I loved the incarnation chapter too and really was challenged with the importance of walking into someone else's life and world, incarnating during the grieving process. It is so easy for us to use our own life as a gage for others, "how would I grieve or walk through this?" and then to impose what works for us onto others or worse judge when their grieving looks different. Guilty. On page 182, I loved to reminder of how important it is to humbly serve like Jesus, how can I humbly come alongside someone in their grieving especially in grieving or in situations/circumstances where I do not understand the grieving or my view is that is it a "small" reason to grieve. 

I think so often as a Barnabas Coordinator as I would talk with Barney's who were really struggling with some much of the change that had just happened I was not recognizing that what was going on was the grieving over the completion of high school or change in friends, moving from their home town, etc. and looking back how valuable it would have been to throughout their summer really discuss that grieving in the context of serving and how that was effecting those staff but instead I may have often may have thought, "Get over it! We have serving to do!" (Sounds harsh, please forgive me!)  For so many of our staff these summers are transitional times, high school to college, changing of roommates/studies/roles at their college, college to grad school/job, the list could go on and on and yet often these things were not discussed until the end of the summer when these things could have been setting up camp all summer long. These seemingly exciting or small transitions for some create a large impact and are taking up real estate in the minds and hearts of the staff working and serving. Regardless of how I would process or view those "life" things, it is necessary for me to incarnate and come along the staff as they are grieving even if some change in their life is good and exciting! Allowing our staff the grieve in healthy ways, allows them to become more like God, "….people embrace grief as a way to become more like God. (page 159)"

Page 162, "The most important issue is not calculating where a particular loss is on the continuum of public to private, or sudden to gradual. Loss is loss. It is the norm of life, not the exception." 

Page 163, "I used to believe that grieving was an interruption, an obstacle in my path to service Christ."

We are going to be serving alongside staff and serving campers that may be going through the grieving process in some form and how we grieve with them and walk with them in that can be in incredible journey to the heart of Christ!