As I took this quiz this week it was really hard. It took longer than I thought because it was honestly really hard to be honest with myself. As silly as that sounds, I have extremely high expectations for myself, and feel that others expect the same. So the idea of me not only struggling with some of the items on the list, but not admitting to them wrecked me.
The quote that seemed to have resonated with a lot of us is "I ignored my human limits and ran myself ragged to do more and more for God. I regarded negative feelings such as anger or depression as anti-God and avoided them" (56).
And honestly this hit me.
This week my dad and I got in a huge fight and the people pleaser inside of me wants to do anything and everything to make him happy with me again. Its nothing big just a matter of going home and why I didn't want to go home. Along with this came the craziness of calling barnies, midterms, and younglife chaos. Instead of allowing myself to process what was going on with my dad, or my feelings of being overwhelmed, I sucked it up and kept moving forward. I realized this week that I don't handle being hurt very well. I either blame others, or just don't bring it up and instead hold a grudge. My dad is a perfect example of this. God has done miracles in my dad's life the past few years, yet all I see is the bad. So when we get in a fight I automatically blame him.
Which brings me to my next point, "When I confront someone who has hurt or wronged me, I speak more in the first person about how I am feeling rather than speak in blaming tones about was was done." (64)
1) confront people? what's that? just kidding. but really.
2) If i just told people how I was feeling instead of telling them what they did wrong, I would probably have better relationships. It is really hard for me to not blame others, because again I have high expectations of myself. I don't want to be the one at fault.
I am struggling with a lot of feelings of inadequacy in a lot of areas in my life, but this quiz pushed me to Christ in a way that I did not expect.
"My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness"
2 Corinthians 12:9
Love you all!
I love that verse! In the midst of your pain and beautiful pursuit of Christ in difficult moments, I saw some great relational advice - "If i just told people how I was feeling instead of telling them what they did wrong, I would probably have better relationships." That's really good advice!! Thanks, I'll take it!!!!
ReplyDeleteMicaela - thanks for your honesty! I am praying for you and your dad! I can see a glimpse of how God is going to use Barney Coordinating this year in your life! Thanks for the post - so encouraging!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your vulnerability, Macaela! I am pressing the imaginary "Like" button many times!
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