"This [change] is not perfectionism. This is hope. We can change. Sometimes it feels like an uphill battle. But the good news is it is no longer our battle. The Lamb of God takes it up in His battle. We are changed by the power of His victory. Our part? Yield to His victory. Be honest, come clean, come as we are and throw ourselves on Jesus." (pg 23)
This definition of perfect is something that I find so much comfort in. It is nothing of the world. Admitting your mistakes is not perfect in the world's eyes, showing that you're weak is not perfect in the world's eyes. But that's exactly why it's so comforting, because God is not of this world. His love is not of this world. His perfection is not what the world sees as perfect (I mean...they thought they were going to see a lion, not a slaughtered lamb!).
All my life I've tried to be perfect by the world's standards. In everything. It wasn't until mid-way through last summer that I realized I didn't have to be perfect. That people would still love me if I wasn't perfect. That God loves me despite all the things I do (or don't do). And when I realized that, I was encouraged to be honest, come clean, go as I was and throw myself on Jesus.
But it doesn't stop there. I know that still small voice that says "be honest, come clean, come as you are, throw yourself on Me, I love you," calls to me everyday. Not just out on the water. Not just in the midst of a driver summer, but each and every day. Yesterday, today and tomorrow.
So here I am, being honest, coming clean, and coming as I am to you guys as a team: that realization, that I don't have to be perfect, is a daily struggle. Sometimes (more often than not) I still feel like I have to be "perfect" in order to be loved. By you guys, by my friends, by my parents, by God, by anyone. But... I know that God cares more about, and people are more impacted by, character and maturity than skills and abilities. And I know that God's definition of perfect is nothing like the one I have in my head or will ever read in a dictionary. And I rest knowing that when I throw myself on Him, he holds me and says "I love you like you could never imagine."
It is safe to be in the presence of Jesus! We can dare to come forward in our sin. For everything that needs to be done about sin has been done by Jesus, to Jesus, through Jesus.
ReplyDeleteWhen I fail to embrace my own brokenness I involuntarily demand everyone around me to change. This is carried out through exerting influence, authority, and power through a role that God has given me to crucify myself....however I usually end up crucifying someone else =(
Katy, Thanks so much for sharing this.
ReplyDelete" Yield to His victory. Be honest, come clean, come as we are and throw ourselves on Jesus." (pg 23)"
A good reminder as we prepare for Camp this summer. Comforted by the lamb, He's already paid, we can't be "perfect" but because of His blood we can realize, It's not our battle!
In love he[b] predestined us (KATY) for adoption. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people,
ReplyDeleteYour post for me was like waking up to a good dream that's not a fake dream but real. I felt like I stared into purity and beauty and heard a compassionate, tender voice say, "welcome home." :). As I read your posit I think I felt like my son Caleb, when his two year old face beams and he says, "Da da, I AM HAPPY."